This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Life is so much better after having sex.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
