you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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