wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
