You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
