I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
