Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Still dying that you shit outside
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
