its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
