I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
