and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
