i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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