That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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