he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize