We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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