My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize