Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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