Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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