My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
