who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
