Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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