lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
