I will die if light touches me.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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