Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
