Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
