Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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