I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
