Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
