smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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