I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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