I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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