community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
