I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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