um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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