Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
