You're my little dorito
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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