Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
