you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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