we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
