His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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