I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
