i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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