i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
