I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize