White coat. Heels.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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