Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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