After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
