Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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