Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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