my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my poor anus
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize