I'm going to jail i love you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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