Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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