I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
