ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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