just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And the cops told us we were all naked.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
