It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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