I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
