Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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