dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
