I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
