maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
