i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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