last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
