I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize