are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
