i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
